The New York Jets already lost starting QB Sam Darnold to mononucleosis heading into a Monday Night Football matchup against the 0-1 Cleveland Browns, but the #LOLJets also lost backup QB Trevor Siemian when he snapped his ankle during a late hit in the second quarter.
When it rains, it pours for the #LOLJets. The Jets lost 23-3 in a game that should have been a lot worse. Head coach Adam Gase relied on Luke Falk, a third-string QB promoted off the practice squad when Sam Darnold was diagnosed with mono.
Darnold became the subject of numerous memes all week, but at this point, another tsunami of trolling can’t faze a fan base that has had PTSD since the Jets selected Ken O’Brien over Dan Marino in the 1983 NFL Draft.
With Darnold or without, the offense still has a long way to go before it can truly get off the ground. Through two games, the Jets offense generated only 13 points and just a single touchdown.
The band Ween can get away with playing the occasional “Brown Show”, when they purposefully play like utter crap while their fans lap it up. However, whenever the Jets unleash their version of a Brown Show on Monday Night Football against the Browns, half their fans are lining up to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge, while the other half are angry-dialing into Mike Francesa’s radio show hoping to air the Jets latest grievances against humanity.
Mayfield vs. Darnold II = Canceled
The suits at ESPN were drooling over the prospect of Baker Mayfield and Sam Darnold slugging it out on Monday Night Football. They set the matchup for Week 2, and both rabid fan bases expected their team would be 1-0 heading into the MNF shootout. The Browns were one of the big public preseason favorites to win the Super Bowl at 12/1 odds.
In reality, both teams dropped the first game of the season, and the MNF matchup became a desperate fight for each team to avoid an 0-2 hole.
The heavyweight bout between Mayfield and Darnold was called off at the last second due to a bout of mono. Yes, mono. Isn’t that the “kissing disease” that hickey-loving high school horndogs get in the backseat of an old Subaru with Cardi B thumping out of the speakers? Well, diseases know no boundaries. Sam Darnold developed a sore throat that escalated into full blown mononucleosis. The Jets’ bright future got flushed down the drain after only one week.
Siemian Ankle Whacked
The Monday Night Football line against the Browns opened with the Jets a 2.5-point home dog. Without Darnold, the line jumped four points. The Browns easily covered 6.5 points against the Jets’ JV squad.
The bookies put too much blind faith in backup QB Trevor Siemian. Plus, they thought Gregg Williams’ hard-nosed defense would keep the game close, which they did, all things considered. Siemian started 24 games over two seasons with the Denver Broncos, which is how Gase initially got to know the Northwestern grad.
Siemian looked rusty in the opening quarter. He was only 3-for-6 for 3 yards before he left the game in the second quarter. The Jets incurred another bad beat when the Browns were flagged with a roughing the passer penalty for a late hit. Siemian’s ankle almost snapped off, and he writhed in pain on the turf of MetLife Stadium. Jets Nation could only shake their heads and mutter expletives under their breath before doing a Google search to discover the name of the third-stringer for the #LOLJets.
Falk, Who?
Luke Falk, who played his collegiate ball at Washington State, learned the Air Raid offense from innovator Mike Leach. He’s no Patrick Mahomes, but he has a good arm and looks like an undercover narcotics officer from the 1970s. If Falk could pull off a comeback upset on national TV, he would be NYC’s next sports cult hero and become an overnight sensation.
Alas, the merciless football gods shunned the Jets. Falk struggled in the second quarter, which was expected for a guy fresh off the practice squad. Falk finished the game 20-of-25 for 198 yards after he established a rapport with WR Robby Anderson in garbage time.
Gase earned accolades as an offensive genius when Peyton Manning played his final seasons with the Denver Broncos. The media dubbed him as “Sean McVay before Sean McVay”. However, Gase absolutely bricked with the Miami Dolphins. Then again, the way the Dolphins organization openly decided to tank this season, it’s hard to blame Gase for the team not acquiring the proper weapons to run a high-end offense in Miami.
“We have to get better than what we’re doing. We can play so much better than this,” said Gase.
Even with top RB Le’Veon Bell, the Jets looked predictable in their stale play calling. Gase’s “revamped offense” looked more like last year’s inept Miami Dolphins playbook. Bell gained only 68 yards on 21 rushes, while the Browns stacked the box. Falk dumped off to Bell frequently for 10 receptions and 61 yards. Overall, Bell finished with 129 combined yards, while the #LOLJets posted only 262 total yards of offense.
Potential 25-Point Dog
The #LOLJets find themselves sharing the AFC East basement with the 0-2 Dolphins. The Buffalo Bills are currently 2-0 and tied with the New England Patriots for the AFC East lead. The Jets had the Bills on the ropes in the opening game until they lost CJ Mosley to an injury. Without Mosley, Josh Allen engineered a comeback.
Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, the Jets fly up to Foxboro to play Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots. The bookies anticipate a bloodbath, and the Jets are currently a 22.5-point underdog without Darnold or Siemian.
WEEK 3 LINES
NY Jets (0-2) at New England Patriots (2-0) -22.5
At this rate, the line could balloon to 24-25 points by kickoff. Another week, another weekend of utter misery for fans of the #LOLJets.